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I love, love, love flying. In Canada. Don’t get me started on American airlines and Yankee airports. Recently I made a  trip to the coast.  There are many things in place that are security/ safety features that really do nothing to improve security and/or safety but they make us feel better. The in-flight safety dance at the beginning of every flight is the obvious one. The seat belt sign is an obvious second. And removing your shoes through security is in contention for third place. I was wearing stilettos. Is it possible I have a stiletto derringer? Hmmm possible but not likely. On my return I was wearing flip-flops. I got to keep them on. Apparently there’s less of a threat of flip-flop switch blades.

Across from me on my little commuter plane to Vancouver there’s a well dressed man in a dark expensive suit with rainbow socks. Is this to convey some sense of fun? He looked like a lawyer type. I can imagine that he would rape my bank account just by answering my phone call (probably from American Airlines holding cell for my derringer) I can also imagine this sense of “fun” as I’m bent over looking at his rainbow socks.

Personally I think the “security” around not being able to bring liquids less than 100 ml is a money grab without the rainbow socks. So let me get this straight, I can bring 10, 100 ml vials of untested “liquid” (which equal a liter)….. but my 500 ml smells like coffee, tastes like coffee, just bought from the Starbucks in view of the security gates, coffee, could be dangerous. It makes me want to smuggle 5, 100 ml vodka, 5, 100 ml, cranberry juice, and make myself cocktails for the duration of the flight.

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